I'm getting more philosophical about the process. I've realised that there is no perfect way to do it and the best way to learn is by experience and observing the effects that pruning has on the growth the next year. There are also lots of books for advice. The pruning when the trees are young has the biggest influence so it gets easier as the trees grow.
I've added some notes from the pruning I did last winter here and I'll add some pictures and more notes once I've done this winter's pruning.